Mike Burr - log

[Dick the Alien] Human Hats as Clan Membership Emblems

Dick the Alien went to Texas, America to learn about human hats. Through covert operations that involved interacting with "the locals", Dick learned:

  • Turbans :: Bad! Likely enemy tribe. There are a huge variety of turbans of all types. Their range is no less than that of America hats, but they are universally a sign of clan enemies.
  • Trucker Hats :: Good. Member of clan or friendly clan.
  • Cowboy Hat :: Same.
  • Trucker Hat Backwards :: Not by itself indicative of enemy clan, but very likely troublesome clan.
  • Fedora :: Also troublesome clan. Likely enemy clan but belonging to rather harmless clan lacking weapons.
  • Sombreros :: Used by enemy clan, but in rituals only. Sombrero clan members will sometimes wear Trucker Hat, despite being enemy tribe. These hats often have green mesh, are too "high", and dirty in an unstrategic way.
  • Outback Hats :: Cowboy hats with one side of the brim affixed to the upper, head enshrouding part are members of a mostly friendly clan from distant and mysterious lands.
  • Pork Pie Hats :: Innocuous clan. Often able to obtain prohibited items for a gratuity.
  • Beret Hats :: Depending on skin tone of wearer, may indicate: enemy tribe, paid enforcer of friendly tribal nation, indeterminate or "faggot".

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