[Juliet] I pretend along only to protect you
I realized that my chatting you up all the time was not about me wanting to keep up or to feel some warm glow. It was to keep you distracted and try and keep at least one of your feet rooted in reality, all the while just talking meaningless nonsense with you, no information contained. Much like jingling keys in front of a baby.
And I also realized that that drags me into your world, over and over. How can I talk to you without being reminded of the epic unfairness that I feel. It comes flooding into my mind like a title wave of hate. I cannot make you be curious about my outlook on things, why I may feel the way I do, why I may think what I do. You are completely uncurious about who I actually am and what I actually think. I can't force a person to be curious.
And even if the above problem were to be solved, it would set off earthquakes throughout the land. Der totale Krieg. You don't realize this because I am not the only person about whom you are not curious. It's like watching a dog next to a highway. The hopeless feeling that you're on the road to either being in danger of some kind, or ending up on Hoarders, season 87 episode 213. Just, completely at a loss to understand how you got here. You're just left with this overwhelming sense that you are still right about X, Y, and also Z, but the whole world has gone crazy, you are the only island of sanity, and everyone's gone Sodom and Gomorrah. You tried to tell people, and now god is pissed!
I hope you figure it out. I believe there is a homunculus of a little girl, somewhere in your mind, that hears, thinks about, and has the ability to carefully consider things. There is a thinker in there. You have had two daddies that have beaten the think out of you. You have just as much potential and right to exist as the next person. You've just been told that all your desires to be your own person are sinful or libril(!)
I hope that little girl realizes how she's been wronged, if only just by life itself, and gets angry and starts smashing down all the idols. In this case, I will cheer you on! Smash those fucking idols!
- 1 toast