Mike Burr - log

[mind] meditations

Let me tell you something "marked" that just occured. I can barely bring myself to write words like "love" or "meditation" or "fairness" without wanting to write it in some ironic way. "med-uh-tay-shuns", you know. You've seen it.

This word was canceled for me by my parents. Canceled!

Which is a shame because most words exist because they're useful. There's an instinctual little click and we transition to meditating about what dad might think of you slinging around limp-wristed words like that.

That's a bit of spyware that's installed by narcissist. Five year old you is a Palestinian's iPhone and your dad is the NSA.

Now, does that strike you as something that sounds crazy? Well you should read more/fewer books! If you think I mean any of that literally then I am indeed the loop-bat.

And that thing goes off by itself. If it helps you to understand, it's probably like what happens in your mind when you hear or see the word "nigger"*.

Also, look at the bottom of the page if you don't know what a footnote is.

If you get the right training, you can find yourself endlessly questioning the whole world: "Is this ok?" "Is that also banished from la familia?" etc. etc. ad. infinitum.

It "checks" your whole world.

Now, when you shake your head and check yourself, you realize that maybe the whole idea of stoping and hating yourself for using any one particular english word is itself not helpful! "Of course!", you say, "This is absurd!"

But all that seems to do is to re-set the timer.

It's not the work of an "evil" person. That's a big distraction that just leans into the whole fucking problem.

What happened is called "universe". The "universe" happened.

The way you may feel on the other hand has all kinds of perfectly usable english words, though:

  • Deeply wronged
  • Universe Fist-Shaking
  • Hulk want smash

"All of these are not constructive" is something even stupid people know.

So, we've identified at least one enemy of whatever you want from life, even if you haven't figured that much out. Do you want to smash them now?

Recognizing these things for what they are I think is helpful.

As far as our best guess goes...

These are "evolutionary adaptions".

[SCREECH]

At the risk of getting further weird, let me stop and take advantage of a teaching moment. If "evolutionary adaptions" causes a tiny click for you. You may have been the victim of word poisoning yourself.

What about "love", did you check that one?

Just words! Let's remember! You are doing the mapping between these and any emotions you might have. The emotions are the problem and importantly, your "emotion" is something you will ever be able to accurately communicate about 0.1% of to anyone else. Hopefully it follows that the "strong emotions" we share about certain words correspond to wildly different smooshie "emotions" from one person to another. The end result is that everyone suffers and we generate more unusable heat energy.

Let's not do that.

Also, it's not good for your teeth.

[END-SCREECH]

It's monkey stuff in other words. It's stuff that helps us reproduce and all that stuff. Which is literally what (I am not sure and remain skeptical of literally everything) is what we're designed to do.

So-Called evolution: the things that reproduce most successfully are most numerous.

Would that not include being incredibly horny for many years? And embarrassing yourself in thousands of ways. We are that determined to reproduce.

So, you are here though, now, so just relax. It's pretty good that all those monkeys fucked so that you could be here today reading this. That is a blessing.

If any of this is even remotely true, it would be a good idea to recognize the horny monkey in you and recognize how all the equipment works (not down there, I mean your mind. see? you went there.)

It's good to understand more about humans (or what ever you want to call) them work.

I'm disappointed sometimes when I make a great observation about how I think my mind works only to find that it's the same as this other idea that is so obviously-true that it's just something (words!) people say as a kind of ritual when talking to others; like a tip of the hat.

"I just don't understand people sometimes!" Yeah? Did you ever think about thinking about that statement?

Unfortunately "feelings are just things" or your favorite variant is also a cliché.

So, what does that say? Why is it that the great truths are all worn out like trashy hotel carpet?

Maybe remember that you remember that and remind others about it when you get a chance? That's how mass global re-examination happens.**


* I cannot help you to understand that all of this is stupid hive behavior. There are several books about word-banishment and what it means and what happens next and how much it helps the word. In this case I would recommend more reading.

** Yeah!! He's right!! Let's all follow the man!! Lead us to this "thinking" you speak of oh glorious one.

- 1 toast