Playing Well with Others
I wonder if there's not a misunderstanding that applies to some people and their interactions with others. I've been known to be a real slouch wrt work and of course all the helpful people in my life have pointed out that "you're fukin lazy". Which I really appreciate. Of course I do. But in reality what happens in my case is I'm actually quite busy wrestling with a huge doughy purple monster that smells like mundanity called "My Emotions". I'm busy at some non-verbal level interrupting myself with helpful thoughts about what imaginary people are thinking about me right now. I emphasize "non-verbal". So there's not really any "verbal" way of dealing with emotions. You can't talk 'em away. They hover over you and just plain get in your way. It's just a vaugly dark feeling accompanied by lots of actualy verbal interruptions. In my case, some hypothetical conversation with someone that inevitably ends with me being wrong about something (oh so wrong).
For me in terms of behavior change in response to something like this... I eschew human interaction. If I'm not interfacing with anyone, I don't run the risk of being further-wrong. I can convalesce and soak in my own negative emotions (wow. that's true. why?) Others perceive this as something else, surely. I doubt that I get it exactly right, but I bet it's along the lines of "what a primadonna". Not good.
How do you combat something like that. My new favorite theory is that you feel them right back with more appropriate emotions.
- Identify pointless negative emotion
- Put it into words, as best you can, or at least categorize it on the "spectrum"
- Identify it is unconstructive (inevitably it is)
- Pick a more appropriate emotion from your library of emotions and FEEL it in the opposite direction. Right back at it! (thereby replacing it... eventually... I guess)