[Charlemagne] I want to contact you...
...to say that, your inability to own up to your own suboptimal behavior. Your being enraged by any kind of criticism, and ruling your roost thusly have caused a great deal of difficulty in my life. You are openly hostile and abrasive with me, but you will deny to the very grave that you are doing Anything! And yet you are. And you know you are.
I believe that one or two or three little events in your life have caused you to become a repressed, enraged, crazy person. Your goal should be to step forward and admit that you are not, in fact, perfect and may have made some poor decisions at some point. What you do instead I would describe as "blasting your enemies". With detailed criticism and mockery of any opinion or thought that they might have. Non-stop outward pointing of the finger. It is them! They did it! Why all the vigorous deflection? You've founded whole branches of political science to explain why you're right about all things.
You've hurt me. And that's your private legacy as it relates to you and me. I would guess that through some logical hand waiving, that becomes something for you to be proud of.
I don't think it's too late for you. You have turned entirely inwards, have been making life miserable for the people who stick by you, just out of some kind of cultural obligation. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome.
It's not too late for you to just change your mind. Decide to pick up a hobby other than contemporary federal politics and righteous indignation.
Try not to reflexively dismiss your own thoughts about this with dismissal of me as "oh, just, mad". The sound of the switch going of in your head is almost audible: the person in my current company can be dismissed out of hand, awaiting next instruction.
I think I knew that it was doomed between us when I witnessed how gleeful you are about the relationship you have with your oldest sister. How completely dismissive you are of her. "Human garbage" is all I can read out of the signals I'm getting. White hot rage. No explanation. Just white hot, constant rage, and no clue what exactly is going on, and pride in how you have completely given up on your sister, who is clearly hopeless and absolutely lying. In all the hustle to rally the troops against team
Stop and think on that for just a minute...
You told me
- we hate her
- she is just making that up
Without ever explaining what is that she is a big lier about. What an odd, odd, familial puzzle to try and reason out over years and years. What? I don't. What?
Trying to alter reality itself just creates broken children, in this case.
It all seems like stuff that has mostly nothing to do with me. You have no idea what kind of havoc you bring. It is of no importance.
You could, just thinking, maybe, you could just start living your life in an honest, humble, straightforward way and try to be a better person every day, whatever that means. I believe you are capable.
All I can do is wonder from afar.