Mike Burr - log

[Charlemagne] Mirror

I wonder all the time, what would "satisfy" me? Some kind of revenge? Seeing you humiliated somehow? Maybe you opening up and apologizing to me? And giving me a chance to apologize (after you inform me what I am apologizing for)

...phfft, that'd be fuckin gay! Hey! Ya'll, we got a fucking queer ass baby over here! This one over here's got "feelings" now. Ha! Someone get thah waah-waah bottle! Yeesh. "ooh, I'm sad". I tell yah, you may as well engage in man-on-man buttfucking, the extent to which that thing you just said is soo gay..!


I wish that I could somehow scrape the scales off of your eyes, and wrench your head around by the ears and make you "look". There is no where to look, you're blind in a way that has nothing to do with eyes. It's called "delusion".

If, as an adult in a position of power, you force a 10 year old to always look on you with astonished admiration at how amazing you are, and that shit continues for decades, you set that person up for a few unhelpful things:

  1. Unless the person he's required to worship is actually somehow actually better than the majority of other people, he ends up with a distorted idea of what is "good" or "admirable" and ends up having a very low bar aspiration-wise.
  2. When the child learns about the world, and your place in it, he has years and years of cognitive dissonance to contend with and try and reason away. Like trying to reason away 1+1=2.
  3. Rubbing everyone the wrong way throughout his adult life: this person doesn't have the same stupid arbitrary, strong opinion as that very admirable person from when I was still forming as a person. I contempt theee!
  4. In the unlikley event that you end up doing something inconsistent with being amazing, admire-er is left with something that just doesn't make any sense. "How could he do/say that incredibly stupid thing? I would never have done that. I saw that coming miles away? Is he stupid? But. But."

Let's take a look at these admirable things:

  • Airplanes!!
    • Do we know anyone who flies airplanes and is not a good person...? Hm? Think hard now. So, it maybe be necessary but not sufficient. Noted, I'm sure.
  • Overhaulin your own dag-nab brakes, instead of throwing your dang car away like a libril!
    • Car?! You have a CAR?! What kind of ninny needs a car, probably costing hundreds of dollars, to gently waft you from place to place? I bet you even have cushioned seats and windows that roll down. Oh, a breeeze, I'm so refreshed now! You probably have a buggy with wheels too, instead of pulling your manure around on a skid like a real man. Oh, oh, you use chemical fertilizers, hmm? Well la-dee-da, princes...
    • Do you value your time more than an auto-mechanic? Do you think your time is worth, oh, what, $15? What kind of fucking fag throws away their valuable time doing something you could pay a young Jeffery Miller to do for you? QEEEER! 📣
  • Working 90 hours a week slaving for your ungrateful family
    • And totally not bangin bitches!
    • Or any other deeply depraved thing!
    • And spending the balance of your time sorting screws out in "the shop" and/or shaming someone else for not sorting their screws correctly.
  • Having definitely-correct political opinion's that are directly tied to one or two Very Respectable words. If the definition of those words drift over time...?
    • Well by-gar, my opinion's gunna change too, to match! After all, the actual definition of what I believe is summed up in this single word: X!
    • 'X for life', bro! Rep re zent!
    • Time! oh Tiime! "I'm traveling through time! 🍵" Back in my day, we didn't have time! What was, was, in the present tense. And it is good enough for me! And it is good enough for my pappy at the same time, concurrently!

- 1 toast