Mike Burr - log

Being an Emotional Slave

(obligatory "if you are like me...")

When we imagine someone else thinking negatively of us, sometimes we want to latch onto that thought and follow along wherever it goes. It might be based on something said person said in the past that (you perceived as. it takes two to mental tango.) was hurtful. And you feel a certain way, maybe "shame" is pretty close to the right word. I guess some gland or other goes 'squirt' and you start to feel yet more, there's a tight loop to tap into: have a thought (feeling), feel bad about it (chemically), feel even worse, causing more negative thoughts (feelings), ad infinitum.

It's self-evident that this is destructive. First, what positive thing does this do for you? Feel free to take as long as you like. Nothing, right? Second, unless you really value this person's opinions, you are in a way giving that person control over you. I mean, none of this is literally true, right? The mind is a mysterious thing. But you know what I mean. When you participate in these little mental exercises, the "spirit" or "essence" of that person is ruling your life, at least while you're doing it, right?

You are you! Roll with it.