Mike Burr - log

I do the following

Today feels like a follow your fingers day. It's interesting that for years and years of my life I felt like I was just overflowing with "great ideas". I'd write them down and make some attempt to keep up with them. Now they're scattered all about. I know miniature "scientific journal" style binders (maybe 3"x4") that were "sealed" with duct tape when I was finished or it was time to carefully (and pointlessly) store them away somewhere. I don't ever remember filling one up. I have a big, fancy bound "Journal" that has nice paper and looks well made. It's maybe half full (but completely full of it). When I was young and possibly even more insecure, I'd boost my own ego by writing all kinds of science-y things and maybe even one or two interesting thoughts/ideas. This was around the time I was peaking with my math interests, so I was waist deep in "calculus III" or whatever. For a while I tried to write in Japanese. I look at that and think 1) wow, I can still read and understand this and it's not too terrible as far as I can tell and 2) kid, if you really kept it up, you'd probably one day be gee-wizz super proficient and fluent and 3) what the fuck would be the point in that? I still ask, although I still know, it was all about ego maintenance. If Mike speaks Japanese, he just can't be a moron.

And then there are the probably half dozen efforts online, this blog, that journal, this bear, that bear. They'll probably track me back down later in life.

Of course the real problem has always been Actually Doing Things. I never had/have a lot of follow-through. I mean, why? I do a thing and then what? There's just another fucking thing to be done standing right behind it. Life is about purpose, and I really have none. To be completely frank.

- 3 toasts