Mike Burr - log

[Juliet] You are a great part of the problem

I think I would like to cease communication with you, at least until further notice. This is not to punish you. I've linked you here and for some reason, what I have to say doesn't rouse your interests at all. So here it will sit, unread.

I genuinely am made speechless, disoriented, saddened, and ...I can't help myself, a bit disgusted by your willful blindness. It is not your fault. Usually, that is something you tell someone in some condescending way, meant as a barb. In your case, I genuinely do. I always have. I've watched you been a door mouse and full-time nurse, cook and caretaker for a ignorant tyrant bully. And that's not his fault. And I mean that in the most direct genuine way possible. Neither of you are aware, and for both of you, that is a protection mechanism to protect your mind from...I'm not sure. "Impure thoughts?" Some people I know would say that bad behavior is because one's parents didn't beat them enough.

I think it is just the opposite. I think lack of love and unthinking violence, or just ongoing emotional abuse is what makes "bad people". I think it's completely the reverse of what you both think. That's just my theory. You can check with beloved-cousin and ask how much male parent with sweet mustache beat him. A lot? Just a bit? How about having all his faults pointed out continually, day in, day out? I wonder if any of his "authority figures" did that.

Because, let's face it, he turned out pretty great.

Someone's favorite person in the whole world is the result of someone else's parent. I at least think I can fairly draw some conclusions from that.

I cannot stand it anymore. I am dragged back into hell with every incoming message. If I am "crazy" or "making it up" or "just mad"... well I can do nothing to change your mind. I know, well, from experience.

You won't read this, or if you do, you won't incorporate and think about any of it. I think there are loud buzzers that go off in your head when you might do something you're not supposed to. Like read Bad Things about Good People. It literally "does not compute". Your mind cannot imagine a triangle with four sides, likewise, He can do no wrong and after all, he pays the bills. I do understand. And I understand that none of us are perfect.

I don't know whether to hope that's fixable. I'm not an expert. I hope it is, but my hope is simmering, way on the back burner. Because, well, I've been burned before.

Good luck and I hope you figure it out. I don't want you to do any particular thing. It does not matter how you approach it, it will have a markedly negative outcome. I can't be accused of 'turning her against me' if I don't have any communication (well, I suspect I still can but I'll do whatever I can to extract myself.)

Bye for now.

- 1 toast