I think I diagnosed and gave character to something unhelpful that I do. When feeling, I'm gonna call it "socially anxious", I slip into a mode where my brain is furiously calculating the optimal next thing to say or do. I also am/was mostly unaware of this. It's like I get into social "fight or flight" mode and all of my actions have to be thought through at light speed.
Of course in practice this doesn't work out too well. But knowing that I do it is probably going to be a huge help. It's like having a name for the mysterious disease you've been suffering with your whole life. It's been "unmasked" so to speak.
I think this mode is associated with a lot of brain chemicals and stress hormones. (HECK, I do it as I'm typing too because I imagine complete strangers reading this and judging me!) Those hormones probably eat at you and cause all kinds of havoc. It's probably like being on prednisone for years and years. Can't be good.
Anyway, chill, Mike.