I feel like "public freakout videos" is an infinite comedy mine and that making parody videos would be deeply therapeutic for me.

The kind of stupid that infuriates so many people is on display in nearly every single video. Turning up the gain on the stupid dialog so that normal people can also see "just how stupid" would be a kind of public service.

There are memes and mannerisms in those videos that are somehow very common, widely recognized, but at the same time not completely documented by science. You will hear adults using some of the following rhetorical devices:

• My dad...
• Oh yeah, look at the constitution!
• Why don't you go back to...
• Thats not your property! No! Uh-Uh! Your property starts here!
• I MAKE N DOLLARS UH YEAR AND ALSO WENT TO A COLLEGE! (you, sir, have a contemptible employment arrangement)
• Here we go!! Typical <demographic-member>!!

I haven't cataloged them but you get the idea. Watch some! They're fun!

How cheap would production be? "Location" would mostly be Florida of course, so with one plane trip, they cold be done in huge batches.

Some of these videos are so famous that there wold be an "in-joke" aspect with the audience. Contrast "Documentary Now".

Watching the same "two or more dumb angry people yelling" and saying endless snappy insults to one another but greatly tightened up and rehearsed would be rhythmic and satisfying. I imagine high-speed back-and-forth dialog filled with clever subtle bits and rewind-worthy easter eggs and intentional logical bloopers. This could be written, re-written, rehearsed, edited and tuned to the point that it resembles clever old Vaudeville bits but with the speed turned way up!

Oh, and fun. It would be fun.

Do you know the thing where one claps one's hands loudly in the opponent's face in time with and to highlight each spoken syllable of one's retort...?

We👏! Could👏! Do👏! That👏!

If you are a mental case and would be interested in collaborating or even just snickering along with me like a twelve-year-old, feel free to contact:

NOTE, HUMAN -- The below email address is obfuscated as an anti-robot measure. The actual email address contains no diacriticals and is actually all lower-case ascii with no numbers. It does include the + symbol (it's not a sneaky letter t). There may be more fuzzing...but not to the human eyeball! If you would like to contact me, feel free to comprehend, retype and chat me up!

In other words, don't copy anything. Don't get fancy. Retype what you see. You got it, dawg.

mb+anↂunintuítiveٜٜ Օrg

Hey, human. Still here? I get so OCD about leaking email addresses, and yet the game was lost long ago. Let me help some more: mb is my name (check the name on the blog). After that comes a + and then the letters an (for "Argument Now", my working title.)

I also love texts and mysterious phone calls!

6６9⸺8O０⸺7593

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Scene Number One

Someone at the counter of a fast food restaurant is upset about his Tater Squirters not being crunchy enough and also the absence of the Runny Honey Bunny Dipping Sauce which he explicitly asked for.

There is rage! Shaking, trembling, veiny rage!

Naturally the guy without the dipping sauce asks the clerk how much money he makes (they are both men. why not?)

Before an answer comes, the man without his sauce surmises correctly that the clerk makes "minimum wage". He then immediately rejoins his own answer with a dollar figure that represents how much money he makes.

He has established dominance.

The person in line behind all of this says, "Hey, ease off buddy, I make X", where "X" is a dollar figure that exceeds the one given by the man with no sauce.

<...others join in. lots of comedy. lots of misunderstandings...>

Eventually we find all of the people in the restaurant lining up in the order of how much money they make.

One person remembers a bonus they got last year which, when represented as an hourly wage, allows them to change their place in the income lineup.

Another person is salaried. Some time is spent by multiple patrons trying to fairly represent this as an hourly wage, which finally allows them to take a place in the lineup.

A drug dealer who's near the high-earner end of the lineup causes much resentment and strife among the wage earners. They realize that if the drug dealer had to pay taxes, he would have a less significant place in the line up. All agree that it's unfair that drug dealers do not need to pay taxes, but as that is a separate discussion, the lineup is re-shuffled based upon before tax income. This happens only after two people who turn out to be co-workers that make an identical wage realize that they have different tax advantages (marriage, mortgage interest...)

(think "parrot sketch")

Also, is this a candidate for an actual flash mob thing?